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SATISFY A WOMAN: Step-by-Step Loving Tantra

From TANTRA FOR ALL CHAKRAS * by Sasha Lessin, Ph.D. & Janet Kira Lessin

Sasha Alex Lessin, Ph. D.

Give all-chakra satisfaction to a woman; you’re Giver. Satisfy a Woman, the set of experiences below, gives the woman the support and emotional access she needs for integrated sexual and spiritual connection in lovemaking.

The cue sequence frees intense feelings in your partner; encourage her to express her feelings.

     Ask her to wear her favorite ritual clothes for a few hours of growth, challenge, and ecstasy. Present yourself well dressed, manicured and groomed.  Show enthusiasm to honor and please her.  Give her a gift: flowers, earrings, a poetry book.

     Say that in this ritual she may feel intense emotions as well as ejaculate–gush non-urinary liquid from her urethra.  Tell her that when she ejaculates at will, she transcends sexual and gender pain.  She opens then to total pleasure and spiritual ascension.


     Beautify the place for the ritual. Make the milieu romantic with incense, seductive scents, flickering firelight, soft lights or candles. Decorate the space with sensual statuettes, paintings to evoke passion you shared.             

     Provide pillows, towels, her favorite fragrant flowers, continuous romantic music, a love poem or pledge and another gift on the bed.  Set out sensual snacks, choice chocolates, wine or entheogen.  Keep massage oil and internal lubricant near the bed.  Block phone, pager, computer or in-person interruptions. 

     PREPARE YOURSELF                   

Clean your nails, brush your teeth afresh.  If you are male and clean-shaven, shave again; if you have a beard or mustache, shampoo it.

Find food, drink, sacrament, flowers and music she will like. 

     Arrange the room to delight and relax her.  Create a large, romantically lit love nest.  Place water, towels, blankets, candles, incense, massage oil, internal lubricant and a space heater next to a futon or bed covered with fresh, attractive sheets and towels. 


     *** means she responds.
### means you speak.
Read words in brackets [ ] to yourself.

     [Read aloud from here on]

     Okay Partner, lie on your back, breathe deeply.  Invite your Higher Self, your guides and your paragons to help you in this ritual.  Invoke them aloud. ***


You and I connect our chakras with each other’s in the next experience. 

Sit in the yab yum posture: that means you wrap your legs over my hips so your genitals touch mine.  Gaze into my eyes.   Put your left palm on my lumbar, right palm on the back of my heart.  I’ll likewise hold your heart between my hands.

     Synchronize your breath with mine. Let’s breathe together at the same time.  As you inhale, raise your head and (in this order) stretch your neck, thoracic, lumbar spinal bones skyward.  Keep your belly firm.  Feel your tailbone curls backward. Your neck and then head stretch up for spiritual connection.  We curl our tailbones forward toward each other as we both exhale.

Notice how our chakras vibrate with each other’s as our genitals, belly, heart, and foreheads touch while we breathe.

Syncopate our breaths; send and receive love to me with each breath and I’ll do the same.  Inhale my breath through your nose as I exhale it through my mouth.  Exhale through your mouth into my nose as I inhale.  Pause with me after each inhale and exhale. 

     When you inhale my breath through your nose, think, ‘You love me.’ As you hold air I breathed into you for a bit, think, to yourself, ‘I hold and treasure the love you send me.’  Then, as you release through your mouth at my nose, think, ‘I love you, take in my love.’ As we both hold breath after your exhale, we say to ourselves ‘Hold my love within you.’ *** ### 


     Now, let’s bless each other’s chakras. With me, chant lam–for Chakra 1, the Child & Child-Protector Chakra, three times.  Focus on energy at the bottom end of your spine meeting the energy at the end of my spine.  Send, “You’re safe, healthy and secure” affirmation visions as we say three loud lams.  *** ###

     Let’s both say this sentence for Chakra 1 at the same time: “Enjoy health, security; express your feelings when you choose; maintain privacy when you choose.” *** ###

     Chakra 2, Sex Chakra: Rock your genitals against mine.  Recall or imagine genital connections between us.  Caress me with your eyes and genitals and wish me sensual ecstasy as I do the same with you.  With me, aloud, say, “May you enjoy sensual delight and sexual pleasure.” *** ###

     Together, let’s chant ram three times for Chakra 3, the belly or Power Chakra, as we press navels together, feel strength and beam images that empower and thoughts that encourage from our bellies to each other’s.  Aloud together we say, “Take what’s yours in life.” *** ###

     Chant yam three times with me for Chakra 4 as we send light, love and courage vibes from our hearts to each other.  Aloud, at the same time, let’s say, “I love you; I receive your love.” *** ###

     Open your throat, chant ham three times in unison for Chakra 5, our communication charkras.  For this chakra, we wish each other honest talk and joyous song.  Commit, with me, each time we chant ham, to hear and clear with each other.  Together, let’s say, “Tell your truth.” *** ###

     Chakra 6, Clarity.  Join foreheads with me and look up into my eyes until they seem to blur into a single eye.  Imagine me in a past life with you.  Picture how we could relate with each other, our relationship flowering to the max.  Now together, three times, let’s chant ooo. *** ###

     Wish me–and I’ll wish you–logic, intuition and creativity as we say at the same time, “You know.” *** ###

     For 7th Chakra, spiritual chakras, our crowns: three times, let’s picture energy streaming between our crowns as we chant mmm.  See our minds meld into a mutual magical mind. *** ###

     Imagine you look down from the ceiling.  You see us below in yab yum.  Watch us transform into pastlife lovers.  Feel the lover archetype resonate us both. Unify with the loving force in the Universe.  Say, “We are one.” *** ###  

     Three times, on a single exhale each time, chant THE ENTIRE MANTRA: lam, vam, ram, yam, ham, ooo, mmm together. *** ###

     Imagine our energies join in ever more refined auric bodies.


We see next what you learned loving lovers.

Lie on your back.  Relax.  Put my left hand on your heart, my right on your second chakra (genitals).  Rest your hands atop mine.  Close your eyes.  Ok, let’s release our hands; lower them.

Feel your genitals–your sexual chakra; notice your heart, your love chakra. 

Reconsider your lovers from days gone. Say their names, I write them.  [For each lover on her list so she focuses on each, say:]

Lover 1 [Write it, Guide]
Lover 2
Lover 3
Lover 4


Let’s start with the first lover; I wrote down the name.
[if you can’t tell from the name, ask Partner the first lover’s gender]

Relate the YEARS you were involved with [Lover 1’s name]. ***

 How old were you then? ***
[Write years your age next to the name indicated]

Say the main EVENTS in this relationship. ***
[Take notes next to the name she indicated]

Describe your EMOTIONS with [Lover 1’s name] ***

Tell me how you and [Lover 1’s name] related SEXUALLY. ***

Tell the DEVELOPMENTAL TASKS YOU COMPLETED with [Lover 1’s name]. ***

Imagine [Lover 1’s name] stands before you.  Toward him or her, express your LONGINGS, what you wished you could have shared with him or her. ***

Express to [Lover 1’s name] any WITHHELD FEELINGS, things you didn’t get to say. ***

Tell [Lover 1’s name] your RESENTMENTS. ***

As you imagine [Lover 1’s name] before you, tell him or her your DEMANDS–what you wanted and needed from him or her. ***

Tell  [Lover 1’s name], your APPRECIATIONS.

Say what you REGRET. ***

 Complete to  [Lover 1’s name] “I FORGIVE YOU for… ***

Any more forgiving declarations? Tell to [Lover 1’s name] what else you forgive her or him for. ***

Tell [Lover 1’s name] WHAT YOU LEARNED from being together. ***

FORGIVE YOURSELF aloud for not doing better.

 Bid [Lover 1’s name] FAREWELL. ***

 How, if you had it to do over, would you DO BETTER in the relationship with [Lover 1’s name]? *** 

How can you use what you could do better with [Lover 1’s name] when you relate to me? ***


Imagine [Lover 2: Say his or her name] sits before you.  Toward him or her, express your LONGINGS, what you wished you could have shared with  him or her. ***           

Express toward [Lover 2’s name] any WITHHELD FEELINGS, things you didn’t get to say fully. ***

Tell      [Lover 2’s name] your RESENTMENTS. ***

As you imagine  [Lover 2’s name] before you, [Lover 2’s name] your DEMANDS, what you wanted from him or her. *** 

Say, to  [Lover 2’s name] your APPRECIATIONS. ***

Tell  [Lover 2’s name] what you REGRET. *** 

Tell   [Lover 2’s name] what you FORGIVE him or her for. ***

Tell  [Lover 2’s name] WHAT YOU LEARNED when you enacted him or her. ***

FORGIVE YOURSELF aloud for not doing better. ***

 Bid [Lover 2’s name] FAREWELL. ***

 How, if you had it to do over, would you DO BETTER when you related to [Lover 2’s name]? ***

How can you apply what you would have improved with that lover to how you relate with me? ***    

[For each lover on the list you made for Partner, repeat the questions you just took her through for Lovers 1 and 2.

Find out the years she involved herself with each lover.  Note her age while she and each lover related.

Tell her to review each relationship’s key events.  Ask her what emotions and sexual behaviors she and each lover shared.

Ask her what developmental tasks she completed in each relationship.

Encourage her to express longings, withheld feelings, resentments, demands, appreciations and regrets for each lover.

Let her say what she learned from each.  Ask her to express forgiveness to lovers she resented.  Invite her to say, “Goodbye” and cut emotional cords with each to the degree she desires.  Tell her to say what she’d improve were she to redo the relationship, now that she thought more about it.

Ask her how she can use what she’d do better in each past relationship to how she relates to you now.]


Let’s look at what your life’s like at this time in your life.

[Respond to what she answers with, “Thank you,” or summarize what she says and ask if you’ve got her right.  In your words, restate what she says needs correction. If she expresses emotion, empathize aloud.]

What concerns you most nowadays? ***

What do you intend to experience in the tantric healing and yoni-pleasuring ritual I offer you? ***   

Tell me your fears and reservations. ***      

Say your boundaries with me at this time. ***       


Now I’m going to touch you different ways to remind you of the many touch options you have.  I’ll take ten minutes to stroke, knead, tap, rub, lightly pinch, scratch, slap, massage, kiss, bite and lick your inner forearm.  You respond with sounds to show how you react to my touches.  Practice commands,“Yes,” “No,” “More pressure,”  “Lighter,” “Slower,” “Hold,” and  “Stop. [Give her three or more pressures as well as three+ strokes, kneads, taps, rubs, pinches, scratches, slaps, massages, kisses, bites and licks to her inner forearm.] ***


I’ll shower again, re-brush my teeth, apply scents you like and clean my nails again.  [If, Guide, you’re a beardless male, shave again, till you can run your tongue over the skin around your lips without feeling stubble.] then you bathe. I’ll, wash and admire you. 

[Bath and dry her.  Compliment her physical features.  Suck and tongue-tickle her big toes while you gaze into her eyes.  Help her into her goddess attire.]

Thanks for letting me worship and adore you.  May I again undress you, garment by garment, drink in your divine contours, admire your features, say what I like about how you look and feel? ***

[Laud her looks aloud.]

I love serving you.  I relish relating this intimately.  May my caresses cure hurts I and others caused you.  May our hearts unite and we become one with the Universe.  

What words have you to consecrate the worship I offer your Inner Feminine, your loving, sensual, sexual self? [Give her time to answer.] ***

Lie on your back [indicate bed or futon].

[Touch her heart with your right palm and rest her right hand on your heart.  Place your left hand atop her right. ] Put your left hand on my right hand.  Look into my left eye.


May I massage you?”  ***

If she consents, have her lie on her belly.  Tug her toes.

Rub her soles and each leg’s back.  Massage her fingers, palms, arms.  Then do her back and her bottom.  

Help her turn over onto her back again.  Massage her feet again.

Dance your fingers atop her feet, hands, arms and legs.

Brush her labia and nipples as you glide your hands over her torso.              

Massage her belly; pull the rectus muscles from side to side.  Trace the ascending, transverse and descending colon clockwise.       

Massage her face and head.                         

Stroke and knead her gracilis muscles (inner side, each leg) where they insert in her pelvis, next to her clitoris’ roots.         

Press your fingers into the muscles above her pubic bone.


May I touch your Love Temple?  ***


[If she says yes, rest your left hand on her HEART.  Hold your right hand over her yoni, almost but not quite making physical contact.]

[Send a love-beam from your eyes into her left eye.]

[Three times, breathe in and out at the same time she does, Then settle your hand on her mons.  Imagine you together bring your sexual energy through your right hand on her mons into it.  From her mons, the energy you send, imagine, rises through her belly, to her heart.]

I love you.  Feel our hearts connect and energy vibrate between us.  Let the Love Goddess attend your sexual shrine as we explore your yoni love-shrine.

I send you love as I breathe out; breathe it in, inhale my love.             

[Exhale, then draw your navel back toward your spine.  Then pull your sucked-in belly up.  Squeeze your pubococcygeal and anal sphincter muscles.  Imagine you fountain energy from your tailbone, up your spine, through your heart and out your right hand into her vagina. When you inhale, feel the energy you sent her move from her heart into your left hand.]

[Keep your right hand on her yoni, your eyes on hers.  Move your left hand to her CROWN.]

I invite the Love Goddess to enter your Crown, wherein dwell love’s spiritual aspects.  Flow her energy through your Central Flute to your Yoni-Shrine.

[Breathe in and out with her three times.]

[Move your left hand to her BROW chakra]

Let your sexual thoughts and visions clarify what you experience as I worship you at your yoni-shrine.

[Breathe in and out the same time she does for three breaths]

May the Wisdom Goddess respond as we explore your yoni.

[Move your left hand behind her neck. Eye-gaze, share three breaths]

Connect your throat with your Divine Communicator, who may sing, sound and say whatever she’s moved to share as we explore your sacred sexual grotto. ***

[Place your left hand next on her belly. Take three breaths with her.]

May your empowered Heroine attend the rites at the Aphrodite’s Shrine, your sexual chakra.

[Rest your left hand on her perineum, share three breaths]

May the Divine Child within you bring playfulness, magic and emotional openness to your genitals for the sacred ceremony. 

[Put your left hand again on her heart. Take ten more breaths together as you gaze into her eyes.


Relax on your back, Sweetheart. Breathe deeply.  Let me gaze into your eyes.

Would you let me fondle your clitoris through its hood? 

[If she says yes, say] Direct me with sounds and words; give me feedback while I stroke. ***

[Caress her outer labia.  Pet her clitoral hood around the crown–the pearl.  Don’t stimulate her clitoral crown yet.  When her outer vaginal lips swell and reveal the inner lips, trace circles, spirals, horizonals, verticals, diagonals and figure-eights on them with your fingers. Alternate long, short, inventive, sensitive and playful strokes.  Tap, knead and gently pinch the hood and labia ten or fifteen minutes.

[When the inner labia also swell, say]

Would you like me to polish your pearl?  (pearl = clitoral crown). ***

[If says yes, honor her yoni with your mouth and tongue.  Blow on her external genitals.  Plant baby kisses on her clitoris.]


[Twill your tongue round her clitoral crown and lick her labia.  Lap into her yoni while you gaze into her eyes.  Salivate generously; lubricate her opening.  Love her with your lips and tongue for twenty to thirty minutes.]

[As you pleasure her external genitals with your mouth tongue and fingers, move your head from side to side; alternate stretching out on your belly withdrawing your knees under you to prevent back and neck pain.  Either pain can distract you from your role as Guide.]

I’d like to enter your sacred cave with this (right ring) finger. Would you like me to? ***           

[If she agrees, lick your finger so it’s moist (or use an internal lubricant like Probe or neem oil).  Rest your ring finger pad just inside her vaginal opening.]

Pull my finger in. 

[When you feel her vaginal muscles pulse on your finger, let her pull your finger into her cave.]


Touch inside her yoni’s left side with your right ringfinger; use your left ringfinger to map the yoni’s right side.]

Say which spots you touch feel good, which feel painful, burn and which lack feeling. ***

[Keep your mouth on her clitoris and with your right ringfinger, touch each centimeter of her yoni’s left half.  First, touch the very top (12 o’clock position) and touch down the left wall to the bottom (6 o’clock).  At each spot, hold your finger still for three breaths and focus on where your fingertip touches her inner flesh.]

Focus on each spot inside I touch at several different degrees of pressure.  Let me know how you react to my touch on each.

[Remember which spots give her pleasure. When you touch a point that hurts, burns or feels numb, follow the directions in “Coach Catharsis” (below).]

[After you’ve touched the outermost inner skin on all the loci, re-touch the same spots but put more pressure through your finger, so the touch becomes subcutaneous.  Then trace the throbbing path of the tread-like veins that run through this side of her cave.  Next, press deeper and feel of her arteries beat.  Then press each spot to the ligaments and bones beneath.]

[When you’ve together mapped the left side of her yoni, remove your right ring finger, wet your left ring finger in your mouth, put this finger into her yoni and map the right side of her sacred cave, again noting the places that give her pleasure and those that do not.]


[Your Partner may block pleasure, orgasm and ejaculation.  If she tenses, numbs or burns at your touch, tell her:]

Free associate.  Say whatever you think or picture. ***

Relive times you closed down sexually, times you snuffed your feelings.  Fantasize. ***

Allow pastlife memories. ***  

[She may yell, cry, laugh or make strange sounds.]

Let your feelings out, Sweetheart. ***         

[Hold her while she screams, sobs and confronts each person she thinks hurt or neglected her.]

[If she’s angry at you, say:]
Say it louder.  Show me how mad I make you.*** [Stay centered.]

[If she relates times people hurt and humiliated or traumatized her, say:]

Let’s redo those situations.  I play your perp, but reformed to give you a better program. *** ###

[Keep a finger on the inner yoni spot that woke her emotions.  Play her father, mother or lover or boyfriend–or yourself–the way she wished they–or you– would have acted in the scene she emoted.]


[After she expresses how she feels, tie pleasure from the places you touched in her yoni to the places you touched that triggered her traumatic memory.]


[Take a break, shower, have a refreshing drink, show her the anatomical drawing below.]

The more exact, dear Partner, your picture of your inner clitoris, bladder, vagina and urethra, the easier it gets to ejaculate.

[When you and she review her internal female anatomy, tell her:

Lie on your back again. [Wait till she lies down, relaxes, breathes deeply]


[Curl your ring finger pad inside her yoni toward her navel. Rest your finger on the inner skin under her pubic bone.  Share ten breaths with her as your fingertip and the spot you touch in her commune. Imagine your fingertip extends though her  belly, then caresses her heart.]

[With your finger inside her, trace thirty light “come here” strokes– cervix to orifice–while you kiss her pearl and lip her labia.  Spread saliva into her yoni as you slide your finger from orifice to cervix.  Stroke “come here” forty or so times, as you turn your wrist from side to side.]

[Move your wrist from side to side with your finger pad stroking her g-spot area,  Trace a crescent over the skin covering her inner clitoris and urethral sponge.]

[Sweep (turn your wrist from up to down) the left half of her cave interior.  Skim the front of your right ring finger from the cave roof to its floor.]

[Withdraw your right ring finger from her yoni, then slide in your left ring finger and, with your left, brush the right half of her yoni ceiling.]

[After a few minutes, move to ease your back and neck.  Slip your left ring finger from her cave, and ease your right ring finger back in.]

[Rub, tap, and stroke each fingertip-sized locus inside her cave.  Vary pressure, depths, speeds and rhythms.  Trace pulsing veins and, deeper, throbbing arteries.  For fifteen minutes, press your finger to the bone at each locus.]

Can we try two fingers inside?” ***

[If she says or nods “yes,” curl the pads of your right middle and ring fingers together along the central roof-beam–a two-inch long, bumpy cylinder about as thick as a pinky–atop her yoni ceiling.  Your two fingers caress the “beam” between them. Glide your two fingers together along the “beam” toward down from the cervix to the orifice and out the yoni, with a “come here” motion.  Imagine the beam houses a tube, her urethra, and you coax a hormone from the walls of the urethra into the urethral tube.]

[She may think–though she’s just emptied her  bladder–she needs to urinate.  Let her get up and  try to do so until no urine comes out, then return to bed and guide your fingers back into her.]

[Unite your fingers through her lower abdomen.  Press your right hand fingers within her cave upward behind her pubic bone while you press your left hand fingers downward on her outer skin above her pubic bone.  Move both inner and outer fingers in long and circular strokes.  Feel the area between your fingers swell between these fingers on her  abdomen and those in her vagina.]

[Resume kissing her yoni, move your head from side to side; alternate stretching out on your belly withdrawing your knees under you to so you don’t stress your back and neck.  Pain distracts you from your role as Guide.]

[If you find menstrual blood on your fingers, let her know she’s honored you with this intimacy: stripe the blood across your chest and thank her.]

[She may experience ejaculatory orgasm–dribble or squirt (a few cubic centimeters to several ounces) amrita, divine nectar–clear or milky, sweet- tasting, alkaline fluid from her urethra.]

[Breathe with her; stroke her, make sounds with her.  When says she feels like she’s about to release, say:]

Push out on your uterus as you would if giving birth.

[She may not ejaculate and that’s okay.  Don’t pressure her.  She ejaculates when she’s ready.

When she does ejaculate, imprint her.  Say:]

You’re beautiful. I love you. You’re coming into your power.

Do you have other imprints you’d like to imprint while you’re so open?

[Stroke her till she again ejaculates or says she’s ready to download some uplifting affirmations as defaults in her biocomputer.]

[Gather ejaculate (amrita) on your left hand.  Taste it.]


[Dab her amrita on her lips so she tastes its sweetness.  Keep your right hand in her yoni.]

[After several minutes, with your free hand, press lubricant (so you don’t hurt her now-desiccated vaginal tissue) down the fingers inside her.  Ease the now-lubricated fingers from her yoni.  But rest the hand you withdrew on her mons veneris, outside.  Lie next to her and hold her tight.]

[Don’t demand she satisfy you sexually.  If she wants other sexual experiences with you, give them; but let her initiate.]

[If appropriate, trade roles if you’re female, have her take you through Gratify Guys at  if you’re a dude.]

guides you through experiences that help you:
* Love each other more and better
* Open your energy vortexes (chakras) to each other
* Share your diverse inner-voices
* Learn what hurts and scares your Inner Kids
* Discern when to lower your subself shields
* Share vulnerability and connect with each other
* Synergize your inner selves’ dance within and between you
* Refine how you relate
* Heal each other’s hearts

  • * Encourage female ejaculation
    * Master male ejaculatory control

Also by the Lessins

is a manual for you to experience advanced tantra and teach it to other people.
You learn to teach lovers and seekers how to:
* Master advanced tantra techniques
* Open all energy vortexes (chakras) to each other
* Refine relations
* Encourage female ejaculation and master male ejaculatory control
* Find meaning and purpose in relationships and life
* Reprogram parent imprints that diminish sex and love * Get satisfaction and sustain sex
* Mutually make more in sexualloving
* Delve dreams and pastlives
* Worship women and gratify guys


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